Postcard from the Pines: The Snack Master

            As the song proclaims endlessly on the Christmas music channels, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” It is indeed. It is also, hands down, the most snack filled time of the year. Tempting tidbits and sweet goodies of all kinds are waiting to ambush us at every turn.

The Christmas cookies, nuts, candies of all sorts, melt-in-your-mouth fine chocolates and crackers, cheeses, smoked fish, salami, shrimp, and king, pickled bologna, provide an endless buffet table of crunchy, salty, savory temptations. You guessed it. The subject of this week’s Postcard is snacks and those of merit.

We’re not going to talk about the bad eating habits snacks can encourage or how bad they can be as a steady diet. And we’re not going to talk about why we eat this kind of stuff or the cost of doing so. We’re just going to talk about some of the food itself and what fun we had as kids with our favorite foodie.

            All of the former kids in my Berry family will agree, our favorite and best Snack Master was our uncle, Bernie Schumacher. He was known far and wide to many of his customers at the IGA on Main Street bearing his name, as the Whistling Butcher of Marion. He did, and he was. In fact, he was a very good German butcher. But to his many nieces and nephews, he was simply our Uncle Bernie, who was always happy, jolly, and genuinely happy to see each and every one of us. He was also our champion when one of us got into perceived troubles. Uncle Bernie’s voice was one of reason when others could not hear or see clearly. He was a rare commodity.

            Uncle Bernie, who had no child of his own, had an entire family of children who loved and adored him for the kind person he was. He, in turn, loved us for the kids we were, and expected us to just be kids. He knew well that childhood was too short.

We thought it a great treat to visit the ‘store’ where Uncle Bernie served up pickled bologna, soda crackers and slices from a giant wheel of cheese on waxed paper, laid out on the butcher’s table. This was often followed by the sweet treat of our choice, no matter how much our Aunt Lola protested.

It was an even greater treat to sit at the table in our aunt and uncle’s Sixth Street kitchen and share a ‘midnight’ snack with Uncle Bernie. It was always a great gastronomic adventure. We never knew what he would serve up. My generation liked, as exotic went, tiny canned salad shrimp, smoked oysters and an assortment of not stinky cheeses. It goes without saying that pickled bologna went with everything, and was a staple. Uncle Bernie believed that there were only two kinds of crackers, Ritz and round, dry, soda crackers. Hindsight tells me that soda crackers were only the tasteless delivery system for something more pungent like limburger cheese or pickled, creamed herring. He couldn’t bribe me to taste either of these. Grandchildren Tim and Paula thought this combo the best.  

There was only one of Uncle Bernie’s gourmet treats that I found perfect when served up on soda crackers. This was something he called Bismarck, a form of steak tar-tar, or raw beef. It was fresh ground round, or some other very lean steak, mixed with fresh, minced onion and salt and pepper and set in the big cooler so that the flavors could ‘mix’, sometimes for as long as 24 hours. When it was deemed ready he would wrap a pound in brown butcher paper, tie it with string and take it home. That evening we would take our respective chairs at the kitchen table and snack upon Bismarck and soda crackers. It was my favorite, right behind hamburgers from the Horseshoe.

Those were the days. The store provided a bounty of seasonal goodies. Late in the fall there were boxes and boxes of bulk candies to be bagged…and sampled. There were fresh fruits all year and of course, pickled bologna. There were also ice cream novelties and all kinds of snack cakes in the bread section. In all these years since, I’ve seldom had snacks as fine as Uncle Bernie’s. He was a legend in his own time.

The photo this week is from December 1949. The Marion Food Market, newly purveyors of the IGA label, threw a grand opening sale in honor of this new affiliation. The meat prices are enough to make one weep, considering today’s costs. There are other familiar brand names in this photo. Miracle Whip is 49c a quart. Velveeta plain is 2 lbs for 87c, add pimento and it’s 93c. Sno-Kreem, like Crisco, is 75c and 25c will get you two cans of corn. The familiar Campbell’s soup label is there as are Gerber baby foods. A big Christmas ham is 55c lb and picnic hams are 35c.

All things in proportion; my dad bought a brand new 1950 Chevrolet about three weeks after this photo was taken. Out the door it cost him $1,200 and apartment rent was $50 a month in Marion, Michigan.    

We wish you all a Safe and Happy New Year from the Pines.