Today’s a great day. I have a cold now running on 8 days, my bank account is in the negative, and my ex-wife has called for the umpteenth time- and it hasn’t even reached noon on my wall clock.
But hey I still have pickleball, a sport I began playing a year ago, and now play three times a week with my girlfriend. When I’m on the court my troubles go away- it’s me, my racquet and the whiffle ball that are important.
I usually play singles, but we recently played with another couple and of course doubles is always different, and of course we were instructed over and over to do this or that. The male of the couple was a stickler for rules. We couldn’t do this, or that if it didn’t correspond to his rule book. And he always quick to deduct a point if we had an infraction.
Rule number appears to be we must stay out of the kitchen. When I first heard that, I thought I would never venture into the kitchen unless it is to grab a snack out of the refrigerator. But then I was corrected. “No Mike, the kitchen is the 7-foot brown area on both sides of the net.”
In other words, like I would do in volleyball or tennis, spiking is not allowed. You must allow the ball to bounce on the court before you can return it. For someone who loves to spike, this is tough getting used to. Also, if you accidentally fall into the kitchen after hitting a shot, it is a fault, and the serve goes to the other team.
Understand this is a whiffle ball you are playing with. You can’t hit it more than a few miles an hour. It’s not like tennis, whereas if you have a good, speedy serve you can win a lot of matches. Your pickleball serve is not going to win you any points. I know. I’ve tried hitting it as hard as I can, and a wounded sparrow could get to the other side of the net quicker than my serve. I’ve also tried to put spin on the ball much like you would playing table tennis, but spinning a whiffle ball is darn near impossible.
So the serve is not where you win points. Playing doubles one person needs to stand up closer to the net, but God forbid not in the kitchen, and the other stands at the baseline. My partner is always correcting me- “no your up, no your back.” Somehow on the pickleball court I’ve left my brain behind. I can’t keep track of when I’m up or back. Its annoying for anyone who chooses to be my partner.
Then there’s the scoring. Here’s what the rulebook says:
With the first serve of the game, that team gets only one chance to serve (until they commit a fault). But the opposing team then gets a chance for both players to serve (meaning until their team makes two faults). After this round, each team only gets one fault before the serve switches to the opposite team.
Who made these rules? Can scoring be anymore confusing? Why not follow the tennis model? One can’t forget pickleball is a game for older people mostly- some of us who don’t have all our faculties always. Just saying, scoring could be simpler.
After my complaining I must confess it is a great game. The volleys are much longer than tennis or volleyball, and it is a terrific workout. It’s an escape from the nasty phone calls and I don’t have to worry about it putting more pressure on my bank account.
Now if I could only hit a golf ball straight, and 200 yards, my leisure time would be fulfilled. But that’s another story for another column- let’s just say I’m a terrible golfer.