My heart made it 91 years without any problem. No outside assistance, pacemaker or meds, were needed to keep the clock ticking. I’m 95 now, so that means around 2020 things started to go south. Dr. Holmes, the renowned cardiologist who hosts the largest singles bar for gray-haired people (his waiting area) said it was time for a pacemaker. I’ve been accused of having no rhythm when displaying my two-foot shuffle to the grandbrats, but I didn’t know that applied to my heart as well. Eventually I went under the knife, laser, who knows what, and came out with a brand new ticker.
So what happened in 2020 to cause my heart to go off beat? I blame it fully on politics. Way back then, I was watching Fox News every night, and Tucker Carlson was on a rampage. I don’t know if anything he was saying was true, but he sure sounded confident. The bad thing is, you can be having a wonderful day and then turn on the TV, and all of a sudden you’re angry at the world. Nothing in my den changed other than me turning on the remote. This is where the heart problem comes in. Tucker messed up my ticker. It wasn’t really his fault, I blame it on the internet.
Somehow with the internet, everyone has a microphone. Young kids who haven’t even finished puberty started weighing in on how gender is a choice. No one would’ve listened to this nonsense back in the day, but now those same kids are on social media with more views than Tucker ever dreamed of. And those millions influence other millions and on it goes. My daughter says they’re called INFLUENCERS, and the name itself tells us that us old folks have lost the battle. Most recently, I hear that many influencers are taking the side of Hamas and offering full on opinions about the history of Palestine. I can guarantee you that not one of these people gleaned this new-found education from a book.
Anyway, when Joe Biden started his reign, my heart gave up. I don’t hate the other side of the aisle (news alert: I’m a Republican) and I think it’s good for our government to represent all views. But when Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden came in with the one-two punch, I knew we were in trouble. Remember when Nancy said: “Building a wall will violate the rights of millions of illegals. It’s not just our country, it’s theirs, too!”? Where is the leader talking about the word ILLEGAL? I wanted my daughter to find a Joe Biden quote, but she said that he hasn’t been able to string together a sentence in 2024.
Here at the Old Folks Hotel, I’m guessing that more than half of us have these pacemaker devices. Doctors think this is because we are elderly and our hearts are getting weak. But hear me out…Could it be that our hearts that have known the pain and victory of World War II, and the brave men and women who got us here, can’t stand what is happening. Our hearts aren’t weaker, they’re broken.