By Maggie Conklin
Angels Among Us
My dear mother Molly passed away in March and this is my first Christmas without her.
Her birthday went by me not unnoticed, but closer to numb. Same with Mother’s Day, other holidays, and then my birthday was somber and reflective, but not weepy.
Amid the holidays, I find myself fluctuating between almost manic Christmas joyfulness, with lots of music and eventful occupation to keep my mind away from the fact that she is indeed gone, and the conflicting emotions of sadness, apathy, grumpiness and “why are there so many mean and broken people in the world?”
I’ve been trying to stay around people because that’s when I feel happier, but there are always times when you’re by yourself and those thoughts and feelings come creeping in again.
I’ve been thinking about talking through some of these feelings with my best friend or my dear husband, both of whom have lost their mothers, but I haven’t. It’s probably because I want to be “fine” and don’t want to burden them, but isn’t that what friends and spouses are for?
Yesterday was a busy day at my LadyHawk Nutrition office and store. Between customers’ questions and subsequent answers, handymen fixing stuff, package delivery and clients’ appointments, it was constant barely-managed chaos; just the way I like it.
Then an angel walked in and gave me a hug. A local woman, who shall remain unnamed here, understood what it was like to have your first Christmas without your mom.
She came in close to my face so others’ wouldn’t hear and handed me a gift bag. “Your mom was so special, and she is with you, watching over you, right now.”
Me: speechless.
Inside the gift bag was an adorable handmade angle ornament, a well-written sympathy card, and pages and pages of poems, stories and uplifting sayings.
She told me to read them at home where I could have a box of tissues nearby. I did bring it all home, but decided to read one page per day so I could savor them through the long holiday week.
To be clear, I’ve known this woman for most of my life, even though we’ve never spent much time together. I simply knew that she was “good people” and has certainly proven that to be true.
There are angels among us, living and past. I cannot express the immense burden this lifted. It was a simple act, but took time to purchase the angel, card and put together the poems.
And I will learn this lesson, and re-gift it as often as possible with future gifts of caring compassion.